99.99% Accurate computer analalys!

Well I created a formula describing most errors on computers and will put it in 1337 SP3@k for j00 and translate as well. Some of these are simple, some of them not, but I see them EVERY DAY so I figured I’d vent and share some fun with you while I made these at work.

So I’m thinking “Windows should really reply with THESE replies instead of the regular replies.”

ERROR - Host somethingserver.somethingsomethingsomething.com could not be found, please make sure you've entered the server name and information correctly and try again.
1337SP3@K = J00 1D10T, j00 can't sp3ll Right! Go back and enter it @GAIN! Layman's term = You're a complete idiot and need to learn to spell your server names correctly when entering in your email information. Either that or you are using norton's antivirus which is a pile of crap and the firewall is enabled and you can't send mail, retard.
Password incorrect - Please enter network password
1337SP3@K = T@rd, j00 n33d 2 L|_|RN 2 spell! Layman's term = Go back to school and learn to spell, typo's are user error.
Network Cable Unplugged
1337SP3@K = d0 I h@/3 2 3XP1@IN 3/RT1ng 4 j00? Layman's term = No really, somewhere a cable is unplugged. Next time learn to ROUTE YOUR WIRES or don't put your modem or router by your FEET.
Network Unavailable - No Wireless Networks Detected
1337SP3@K = d1d j00 3v3r L3@rn 2 pr355 t3h wi-fi b|_|tt0n 0n j00R L@pt0p? 0r m@yb3 j00 f0rg0t to turn 0n j00r R0UT3R! Layman's term = See the big antenna button that says "WIFI" on your laptop? Probably needs to be pressed so its on first.
Virus Detected - System scan recommended
1337SP3@K = st0p l00king at pr0n! @n|D Qu1t s3nding me f0rw@rdzzzzz, I H8 u! Layman's term = The more porn and forwards you send out the worse the virus count will be for you. The fate of your computer rests solely in your anti-virus software, and unfortunately you bought a computer with Norton's antivirus on it. Go buy a new computer.
10/100 Fast ethernet adapter - Drivers missing or corrupt, to reinstall click update drivers
1337SP3@K = WTF D1d I t311 j00 ab0ut cl1ck1ng cr@p j00 d0n't b3l0ng in! D@YM U! Layman's term = Next time, call your manufacturer first before going into device manager and removing things. Please, stop lying to the tech and just admit you were clicking on crap you shouldn't have and it makes the process of fixing it much faster.
Unable to dial up to "broadband" modem connection
1337SP3@K = th@r is n0 s|_|c||-| t1ng as br0@db@nd d1@l UP n00b! j00 s3t it up j00rs3lf didn't j00! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! n00b! Layman's term = No need to create a dial up connection when you use broadband internet. And you wonder why you can't get online? Next time call your ISP instead of DIY, save yourself the headache if ya don't know.
'pinggggg' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file.
1337SP3@K = HAHAHAHA n00b! L3@rn 2 sp311 HAHAHAHA! QUICK typ3 DELTREE C:WINDOWS HAHAHAHA n00b har har har! Layman's term = Once again, your sticky fingers are outgunning your reaction time to the keyboard, learn to spell. Or stop drinking so much dr pepper around the keyboard.
Are you sure you want to delete the file run32.dll?
1337SP3@K = j00 click3d Y3S? WTF ARE U THINKING? j00 d3s3rv3 to r3-inshhhhhhtall WIND0z3 har har! Layman's term = You should probably stop deleting things you don't understand. Delete your crappy forward emails first before you delete window's system files. Please for the love of god.
Error loading Odin_Worm.exe - Windows is shutting down
1337SP3@K = s@d s@d n00b. Layman's term = Sucks to be you.


psych!!! Funny stuff man! I laughed the whole time and realized how much of an Idiot I can be at the same time.

I’m guessing this post has to do with you giving TechSupport to people. I’m in the same boat. Alot of calls come into our office starting off like:

“So I reinstalled my operating system…”

Most of the time, they have no clue what they did.

LMAO yep you nailed it mirrorguardian.

I actually at one point had messed with explorer.exe using a hex editor that resourcehack program and redid all the error messages, it made windows 10x more fun.

dude you should make it an automated batch file so that you can distribute it for people that want to have a laugh at their computer when an error message comes up.

Hmmm not a bad idea that’d be pretty cool.