You know you drive a _____ when…
Post up the cars/bikes/vehicles you drive… this should be fun, KEEP IT ON TOPIC!
When your passengers ask you why your car always says full and you respond with “Oh no it’s probably close to empty but i get 35mpg so i’ll just fill it up when the light turns on.”
When your easiest upgrade for more power is removing resonators from your intake.
Your fastest upgrade to add 20+mph is cutting the wire to your governor.
The biggest argument you still hear to date is over who has the best header when there are only about 5 companies that make them for our car and there are already dyno charts.
You’re still in denial that another ZX2 is coming out, even though the only 2 door coupe that came out was the new focus.
If you know who matt is and you bought one of his pulleys.
People tell you “nice probe” when you go to the gas station.
Out of all the cars in the world, your sworn enemy at autocross is the Focus rather than the honda civic.
First year of a Porsche 924:
Your part numbers are from 5 different models of cars that range from Audi to vW to Porsche…
You forget which side to put the gas in regularly and get looked at funny at the gas station when you pull up on the wrong side, and then get asked if it’s really your car.
You go to order parts at the store for your car and order parts for an Audi 5000, VW Rabbit, Porsche 911 and a Porsche 924. People say “Wow you have a lot of cars!” and you say “No, just one overglorified volkswagen.”
Almost everything is labeled in german.
Your fusebox wiring looks like a bowl of spaghetti minus the marinara sauce.
The only thing labeled in english is the warning sticker in your engine bay that is 5x larger than your ignition control module, pointing to your ignition control module warning of sudden certain death in both german and english followed by a huge electricity bolt sign with a hand with a big “NO” sign over it in case you’re stupid enough to mess with it while the car is running and don’t have common sense. Everything else is labeled in german because they expect you to mess with it while it’s running because there is no other way to troubleshoot a bosch CIS system.
You try to read the wiring diagrams but they don’t make sense when you see the wiring… so you’d rather make up your own.
People ask if your bike is broken when they hear the dry clutch.
Your most common reply to people when they ask why your bike rattles so much is that you drained all the oil out and the bike runs much better that way. They believe it.
People ask why it has mexican flags all over it when you stop at a store or a gas station. You realize most people at the store and gas stations must have failed their high school social studies classes…
You love the engineering of the bike… until you have to do basic things such as changing a tail light… which is composed of removing 16 different allen bolts and removing most of the back end of your bike.
You love how your bike is geared and how it accelerates… until you have to go into a school zone.
You feel like a master mechanic when you educate a supersport owner about removing the emissions on their bike so their tank doesn’t implode after it rains.
The only things labeled in english are on your tachometer and where you put the key in. Everything else (especially wiring) is labeled in italian or broken latin.
You can never remember which is positive and negative because most of them aren’t color coded, simply labeled “dextro” and “sinister”.
You feel smarter every time you call your mechanic at the dealer because they explain to you dextro and sinister and then give you a history lesson on latin as well as a fast course in speaking latin and italian which you jot down in your small notepad of “Ducati italian speak” for future reference.
Your favorite time with your Ducati is when you wash it because it looks pretty and isn’t putting any miles towards the 6000 mile valve adjustment.
You park it in your living room.
People ask you if it’s a 500 or a 250 because they mostly look the same.
People ask you if it can actually do wheelies.
People ask if you’re sure when you say to fill it with regular. Proceeded by asking again if it can do wheelies.
Your first upgrade is a bigger front sprocket and better tires. No one will buy your old tires because they suck so bad.
You do the intake, exhaust and reset your bike for more power, only to realize you are now only at 30hp so you go buy a bigger bike when you realize it wasn’t worth the cost in upgrades.
People ask why your bike is so quiet stock. You tell them you don’t want to anger the police so you stole your girlfriend’s cotton balls from her makeup kit and stuffed them down the exhaust pipes for baffling to make it a sleeper… and people buy it.
You love bragging about how you can do 0-60 in around 5.5-6 seconds with only 27hp. However, your acceleration sometimes seems proportionally dependant on how much you ate before you went on your ride, and whether or not you took a dump before you went on your ride.