bad situation...

Well it seems that my dumbass sister has gone and got herself in a bad situation. Currently she is in the process of a semi-rough break up with her boyfriend of 3+ years. All because of another woman who may or may not be sleeping with him (there is no evidence to suggest she is, but there is not evidence to the contrary).

He started becoming friends with this woman at work. Unfortunatley the dumb schmuck has decided to start spending more time with her then with my sister. The worst part is he has gone the route of skipping special occasions with my sister to hang out with this other woman.

Well as you can tell one thing lead to another and now my sister is possibly going to be getting her ass kicked by this other woman. Not to fear big brother is here!!! I felt that I needed to step in before someone got seriously hurt.

I called my sister a dumbass because the other night she decided to start sending drunk messages to both her x and to this other woman. One message after another over Sister calling this woman every name under the sun except her real name. Obviously this got the other woman upset and she started to revert to high-schooler mode and do the threatening bit.

Tonight I stepped in and decided enough was enough and after speaking to my sister, decided to write this other woman, whom I have known personally for a while, a letter.

and it goes

"Hey [i][b]so and so[/b][/i]!

I feel I need to step in and say something at this particular junction. Please give consideration to my message. You and I have known each other for a while. And while that may not mean anything to some, I would hope that you respect that fact and hear what I have to say.

If you have not already guessed, yes this message is about the current situation with Steve. I am not going to put blame on to who’s right and who’s wrong. However I feel I need to put forth an explaination as perspectives on both sides have gotten WAY out of hand.

Imagine this… You have been dating someone for 3+ years, spending nearly every day together. Increasingly, over a relatively short period of time, lets say 6 months, the amount of time spent together is less and less. Then one day you find a note of some sort from another woman that is somewhat provocative. Increasingly these notes start to appear. Then you start to get stood up for plans that you make together.

Now, please answer these questions honestly… How would you feel? What would you think of the other woman involved?

Blank and my sister have been dating for 3+ years. For a woman that favors the ‘relationship’ over the ‘one-night-stand’ you can appreciate how significant that number is. Can you honestly blame her for the feelings that she is having?

Yes she feels like she has been betrayed. Yes I think she may have directed her anger in the wrong direction. However, everyone needs a direction to vent frustration. Unfortunately, becoming friends with blank and being near the center of this situation has made you a target for that vented frustration.

Now on a more serious topic. Shannon is blood. 100% sister. I dont know if you have siblings or not, but there is a bond that cannot be undone between family. I will personally not stand for threatening of any kind towards anyone in my family. I will do what is necessary to protect those closest to me.

I have read the myspace mail message between you and her. I understand that my sister hit a nerve by throwing names, and I have already spoken to her about that and asked her to stop provoking. It was very childish. However threatening someone is even more so.

Next time you send a message, consider the content that your sending out. Regardless of who provokes who, There are more ‘adult’ ways of responding to people who are acting childish.

Again, I hope you have read through and considered what I have said. If not I just wasted 2 hours writting this while I have to be up at 6am.

Thanks so and so! I hope that you, blank and my sister can get this straightened out as soon as possible.

and I sent that to the other woman. I am kind of having second thoughts about sending it now… even though it was already sent. Let me know what you think. If it will help or if I just made things worse.

I think you just sounded too nice. You should have said something like: “They have been together for 3+ years. There is no reason you should step into that for your own selfish reasons.”

I agree with mirror. Steping in on that much history is just asking for trouble.

But at the same time you are justified in getting upset at your sister, provoking like that could lead to other issues. Your famliy has been going through some tough times so perhaps that is why her actions were a bit rash. You did the right thing, family takes care of family, and the letter while being rather nice I think will at least be proof that you tried to be reasonable and mediate the whole mess. That way :evil: if this other girl tries anything you will have some additional points in your corner.

I don’t know if it’ll help, but I don’t see how it could make things any worse. You seemed very reasonable. By the way…you missed an editat the begining. You used his name and didn’ t change it to “BLANK” :wink: Keep us posted.

  • Darron

i noyticed that also. But Maveric is right Family is family and you guys are have enogh probs now. hope everythings works out 4 you guys.

and tell papa smurf i said hi